By Lynndi Lockenour
The sunrise mural painted in the kitchen reads “Everyday is a new beginning” and for the women who stay at Bridgeway Women’s Center, that is their motto. The center began in 1979 as a counseling service for everything from domestic violence to drug and gambling addiction. Since that time, the center, affiliated with Bridgeway Counseling Services, has narrowed its care just to include domestic violence.
The center is the only one of its kind in St. Charles County. It focuses on providing support and emergency shelter for battered women and their children. They provide food, clothing, hygiene products, beds and most other items needed to survive. Their program, averaging a length of six weeks, also offers counseling for the women, education for their children, and a support system once they leave.
The center is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, with someone always on call. Since it is the only shelter of its type in the area, site director Pat Kulik said transportation is of the biggest problems they face. “With no public transportation system it’s difficult to get women here when they often don’t have a vehicle,” she said.
Neighboring St. Louis County has four shelters similar to Bridgeway and Kulik said they all work closely together to care for as many women as possible. “Not every woman that calls is going to end up staying with us,” she said. “But our job is to make sure they get to a place where they feel safe again.”
In 2004, law enforcement agencies in Missouri reported 39,097 cases of domestic violence, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV). Being that only 25 percent of all cases are actually reported, the number of domestic instances is actually much higher. These numbers, said Kulik, illustrate all the more reason for everyone to be aware of the situation. “What we do here is so important,” she said. “If everyone was honest, I bet they know at least one person who’s experienced or is experiencing domestic abuse of some kind.”
Contrary to popular belief, domestic violence isn’t always about physical abuse. It also includes things like verbal or emotional abuse and sexual assault. In the state of Missouri, the NCADV estimates one in three women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. In 2004 alone, 51 people in the state of Missouri died as a result of domestic homicide.
The Bridgeway Women’s Center receives over 2,000 hotline calls and houses approximately 200 women and children every year. In addition, they care for about 50 women each year through their outreach program. This program is designed to follow-up with women at one month, six month, and one year intervals once they leave the shelter.
Though the stories of the women run the gamete, Kulik said since she began working at the shelter there’s been a change in the type of women coming to the shelter. “I see more mature women who’ve been in relationships for a long time,” she said. “They are leaving after years of abuse and to me that’s amazing.”
While Kulik admits it’s difficult to take children away from their toys, friends, and home, she also said that it’s important for women to realize there are options out there. “I just want women to understand there is someone available who they can talk to 24 hours a day,” she said. “Someone who will treat them with respect and confidentiality.”
Though an increasing number of women at the shelter either don’t have children or choose to leave them with a relative while they are at Bridgeway, Kulik said children are often involved. Without intervention or education, she said the domestic violence circle is likely to repeat itself. “If children think this behavior is okay, that it’s okay for Daddy to hit Mommy, they are more prone to become involved in violent relationships in the future.”
For this reason, Kulik and others are constantly pushing to have domestic violence added to the school curriculum. Because it is a delicate issue for many, most children receive no education pertaining to the issue. “It’s a shame to know there are children out there who think this behavior is okay, even normal,” she said.
Bridgeway is designed to feel like a home, from the handmade curtains, to the hand-painted murals throughout the house, it welcomes women and children. Equipped with a children’s room, kitchen, and multiple bedrooms and bathrooms, the house is warm and offers women a space to recuperate. “We want the women to know that no matter what, they don’t deserve what’s happening to them,” Kulik said. “They are safe here.”
More than anything, Kulik stresses the support of the center, even if a woman decides to return to her relationship. The national average, according to the NCADV, states that a woman facing domestic violence will leave and return to her abusive partner an average of seven times before terminating the relationship. “I’ve seen women come in here without a car, a job, or a home, but when they left, they had all three,” she said. “To me, that’s why we are here.”
If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic violence please call the Bridgeway Women’s Center Hotline at 1-877-946-6854.
