I think I have finally found the formula to easy-life politics — don’t try to ever really make a change in the system. As long as it appears that you are not rocking the boat and that you are getting along with everyone in the works, then you can pretty much do what you want and not really answer to the electorate because, hey, people don’t want the truth, they want to be placated with a reality that suits their image of things! Just take a look at how long our county council has watched the Family Arena hemorrhage money (take out our City subsidy of $300,000 per annum and some years it’s been close to the million dollar mark) but they always got along (until some recent squabbles).
Next, do not upset the guys with deep pockets! In fact, the best thing to do is to find a nice corporate sponsor right away who will put their stamp of approval on all that you do! Let’s face it, if you have to raise money in dribs and drabs it will take you your entire time in office to scrape together the dollars you need to put up a feeble attempt to run a campaign against your opponent who will have no problem manufacturing whatever they need to in order to win! Also, people will claim that they don’t like a politician in the pocket of big money, but that’s really just something that people say; worse is to make waves, appear mean, or criticize!
This is actually a very refreshing outlook! I once thought that the political system was a means to make positive change, keep an eye on public tax dollars and really just help out. I always loved good debate, believed that everyone should have a voice in the process and really liked those people in society willing to stand up and “give ‘em hell” while looking the fat cats in the eye in order to challenge the status quo. I think these things really might have mattered in America at an earlier time; a time when a majority of the people read newspapers and the newspapers in turn really tried to be a progressive voice in society.
Times have changed though, and I was just wanting to place an advertisement here for a corporate sponsor who will be able to pump money my way when Linda Meyer comes dancing into my ward to begin her recall efforts. I’m not proud, so anyone with a large checking account and a self-purchased good image will do! If the image isn’t so good but the bank account is really large, well, I think that will still work okay. I know that the image machine will begin to churn with a few dollars to help oil the whole thing and before long we can turn things around! A few ads in the papers and they will be ours too!
If you’d like to apply, I think a local patron is best, but again, I have no problem with a national or international giant such as Exxon-Mobile, Disney, or Enron if they reappear. I have even heard of people getting compensated for sporting corporate logo tattoos; maybe the Nike “Swoosh” symbol wouldn’t be so bad! Again, the more local the better, so perhaps Premier Bank could make ball caps with current CD rates blazon on the front for me to wear during council meetings; “4% on $10,000 or more for 18 months!”
I have thought about each sponsor for the council and mayor. Some are obvious, but here are my thoughts: the Mayor would have T.R. Hughes and Jamboretz; Larry Muench’s sponsor will be K-Mart (they owe him anyhow for his stock loss); Mike Weller’s will be Citibank (talk about deep pockets!); I thought Dotty Greer could have Cingular or whomever owns them; John Gieseke will take Sheraton; Jerry Reese will use Crayola; Mr. Riddler can have Allied Waste; Bob Kneemiller’s will be State Farm Insurance; Mark Brown’s patron will be ECM (just for the sake of irony); I would like to have Anheuser-Busch or Pio’s for my patron. With the mayor and each council member firmly supported financially, we could have these folks wine and dine us and everyone would get along! There would be a few changes made - the city would get Cingular phones; bank with Citibank; have insurance through State Farm or a subsidiary; ECM would run our sewers; Mr. Hughes would construct any new homes or businesses and hook all of his developments around the county to ECM for the residents of St. Charles to subsidize; and we would either have beer or pizza at all public meetings (best would be both!).
Aaaah! It truly will be the best Democracy money can buy
