It’s Blues Versus Greens
As Trash Talk Heats Up
It seemed like a good idea at the time. A simple plan to improve the appearance of our community and give something back to the taxpayers. Just the kind of good idea that turns around and bites you.
I’m talking about the looming debate over the City providing uniform roll-away trash carts.
On the plus side, it solves the problem of disappearing lids. Flip top lids would reduce the number of animals getting in the trash and strewing it around streets and alleys. Sometimes they are so littered it looks like Bourbon Street the day after Mardi Gras, complete with hung over squirrels and a racoon still yelling for beads.
Uniform carts would get rid of some of the beat up older cans that accumulate and provide a much nicer streetscape when driving around town. They hold three times as much, so you wouldn’t need to put out as many trash cans. The City also has a big problem getting some rental properties to keep any trash cans and we then have to cite them for putting trash out in bags. This would solve that problem by having the cart stay with the property and not the tenant.
Besides, they would be provided free, saving those who now lease them $24 a year and giving everyone a cart that would cost them around $60 if they went to purchase one on their own. Who could argue with getting a free roll-away cart? That’s when the e-mails started to arrive.
Some people acted like we were trying to give them a “free” pony. It won’t fit in our garage. I won’t be able to push it. People will steal them. The only complaint I didn’t hear was that it would cost too much to feed them. The size and weight issues were easily answered. The companies offer three different sizes and those who generated less trash or had limited space to store a cart could ask for the smaller size.
E-mails from those wanting the carts brought to light a somewhat unexpected area of contention...”What’s your favorite color?” In ancient Rome the most popular spectator sport wasn’t going to the bloody gladiatorial contests in the Colosseum, it was going to the chariot races in the Circus Maximus.
Just as we follow our modern professional sports teams, citizens of the Roman Empire followed, cheered and placed bets on the four main chariot teams known by their colors...the Blues, the Greens, the Reds and the Yellows. As it turns out, the two most popular teams were the Blues and the Greens.
It seems the citizens of our fine community have something in common with the citizens of ancient Rome. We are split down the middle when it comes to a color preference in trash carts. They are the TRUE BLUES and the EVER GREENS and they would sooner throw their neighbors to the lions than give in on such a weighty mater of principle. Oh, and did I mention we also have to decide whether to hot stamp on the containers the historic City Seal (with the image of a river boat) or the modern City Logo you see on police cars and city vehicles.
At the last City Council Work Session we heard presentations from the two giants of the roll-away cart industry. I learned more about roll-away trash carts than anyone has a right to know. I learned about their “ground hugging” design to resist being blown over in a windstorm. I learned about the percent of UV (ultra violet) protection each possessed to guard against becoming brittle over time. Much like George Hamilton. Each injection molded plastic ridge and indentation was computer modeled for strength and durability.
I am now thoroughly convinced that the United States leads the world in garbage container technology. In fact, I suspect that if the Earth were ever invaded by an alien civilization, they would immediately surrender to us upon learning of our superior knowledge in this field.
While the money is in the budget, I can’t predict with certainty that new trash containers will be coming to an alley near you. Some people are worried that the carts will lead to once a week garbage collection even though that is not under consideration at this time and I personally prefer twice per week. Others are upset that the new carts wouldn’t come with once per week trash and thus a lower rate. The Mayor might veto the expenditure, thus avoiding altogether the politically dangerous waters of revealing if she is a TRUE BLUE or EVER GREEN.
What I’ve learned is that suggesting the community could benefit from new and uniform trash containers is much like the man who points out a new dress to his wife. He just wasn’t expecting to hear, “Why, what’s wrong with the one I’ve got on?”
Anyone want a free pony?
