My buddy T.J. Slattery has on more than one occasion approached me and asked me to write about youth soccer. My standard reply is “I hate soccer; all it does is take some quality athletes away from football.” I really don’t hate soccer, I don’t think I hate anything or anybody – let’s just say I am not a big soccer fan. It seems to serve as a lightning rod for controversy and confrontation. This past week did nothing to change my point of view.
Take for example my daughter Maggie’s third grade team, coached by Mark Francis. Now, Mark is far, far from being an angel, but as a youth coach he goes out of his way to give quality instruction to the young ladies on his third grade team (I am aware of the fact I have repeated “third grade team,” and will do so a few more times to make my point). He never yells at, or to, his players, never uses profanity and does his very best to point out something positive the girls have done. By now I am certain most of the readers of this column understand how involved I am in my kids’ lives, maybe even overly so. Still, Mark Francis can coach my daughter as long as he wishes to, and as long she wishes to play. The fact is I think part of the reason she has so much fun is because Mark makes it fun. Some of the games are rather competitive, some aren’t. For third grade girls’ soccer it is exciting and entertaining – until this past Sunday.
This past Sunday at a girls’ third grade soccer game, the official had to eject one of the coaches of my daughter’s opposing team for yelling “F*#@ Y$&,” to the official. This is not a “he said, she said” situation. I heard it first hand. Have I ever told you I refuse to sit with the other parents during my daughter’s games because they yell and scream and cheer when the wind changes direction? Well they do, and so I do (refuse to sit with them). On this particular Sunday I positioned myself at about the 10-yard line, or at least that is what you would call it in football – I have no idea what you would call it in soccer. For the most part I was standing there all by myself enjoying the contest when I heard the youth coach yell the magic “F word” at the official. As I said, he was kicked out of the game, and should have been kicked out of the park, but was not. He simply walked to the other side of the field where he continued to taunt the officials and question their calls. Since this is a family publication I can only describe his behavior as “sphincter like.”
Granted, some of the calls made were probably incorrect, but this is third grade soccer. For that matter there is no level of any sport where “sphincter boy’s” behavior would be acceptable.
That being said let me say something positive about youth soccer. Two weeks ago my son Dee’s team (0-9 this spring) was warming up before a contest against a squad called the “Wolfpack.” Granted, Dee’s team, the Rams are playing “up,” which means they are playing against kids a year older. The parents decided it was only fair since we “hand picked” our team. By the way, we hand picked kids who attend school together, not because of their ability. All right, for the most part that is true – but we did agree to “play up.” As I watched the Wolfpack warm up I sensed we were in some serious trouble. As Napoleon Dynamite might say, “those guys had some real soccer skills.” As tactfully as I knew how I approached the coach and asked him to take it easy on us. He understood and suggested we play 5 on 4; as time went on it turned into 6 on 4 – we still got beat soundly. My point is the guy had class – or so it seemed. As fate would have it we had one game to make up. When the opposing coach contacted me to reschedule I asked him how his team was doing. “Fine,” he said. I then asked him how he did against the Wolfpack and he informed me they tied them 4-4. “With all do respect,” I shared with him, “we have no right playing you.” He understood completely. As it turned out both the Wolfpack and the team we forfeited against are hand picked teams which have played together for at least two years now. As fate would have it I found out the other teams in our league complained about how lopsided the games were and how both should not be allowed to play in a recreational league such as ours’. You see it is all relative.
While I am at it, kudos to my son Joe’s coaches Dr. Richard Heise and Matt Fairless. These gentlemen have the dubious task of coaching a team with players whose talent levels range from aggressive to well, shall we say not so aggressive, and have attention levels from intense to…well, remember what I said about wind direction? Yeah, that challenged. Remember though, we are talking about first graders here, and their attention span is suppose to be about two minutes. All of the boys have improved noticeably, and it is because of the patience and instruction of these two men. That and the unconditional support of most of the parents.
There T.J., is that better?
