Sunday, February 13, 2005

THE CONSERVATIVE FACTOR by Alex Spencer

There have always been two schools of thought pertaining to “Hands on” leadership or governing. The proponents of “hands on” believe it to be an advantage to know everything rather than delegate everything. The opponents believe too much “hands on” amounts to meddling and preventing people from doing their jobs.

It is a basic question of style and effectiveness. One or the other is not always the perfect answer. What actually works determines the correctness of the management style.

Mayor York appears to have literally adopted the “hands on” method. However, her interpretation of the method does not coincide with what leaders and business executives understand “hands on” to mean.

The mayor physically puts her hands on people. She has enjoyed more than five years of Huggy, Squeezy, Touchy, Feely. If her male counterparts did this, they would be accused of sexual harassment, taken to task, and run out of office. Especially if they did not vote her way.

There could be a logical innocent explanation for the mayor’s methodology. It’s possible she thinks she is a “faith healer” and the laying on of hands cures the ills of mankind. Perhaps she thinks she is Mr. Wiffle and the City Councilmen are rolls of Charmin. Even a mayor could not be expected to resist squeezing the Charmin!

Then, there is the real possibility the huggy, squeezy, touchy, feely lulls the councilmen into a false sense of security so they do not suspect she is signing secret contracts without their knowledge or consent. Hmmmm….

If the persons being hugged, squeezed, touched and felt aren’t offended and their wives approve, then it must be okay. But fair is fair and I insist the men on the City Council be entitled to behave the same way. From this point forward they shall feel free to lay their hands and arms upon the bodies of Mayor York and Dottie Greer. (Why do I think Dottie Greer will slap somebody’s face upon the first instance of another’s hand sliding up her back?)

Greer shakes peoples’ hands. Perhaps that is why the mayor’s friends are attempting to recall her. Greer shakes while Patti hugs. One of the two women is behaving correctly and the other is doing it wrong. I shall leave that verdict to the Shakees and Huggees—after all, they are the recipients of the acts.

Bystanders at the Movers and Shakers party reported Mayor York hugged, squeezed, then invited Councilman Bob Hoefner to dance with her. Since she appears to have immense dislike for Hoefpner, whatever was she thinking? Hoefpner must have needed more happy juice or a shorter memory. He turned her down flat.

Aside from the mayor bringing about an unusual number of lawsuits for our City to fight, her biggest accomplishment may be the relaxing of prudish conduct at City Hall. People are only human and we have obviously gone to the extreme with political correctness.

No red-blooded American male should be punished for occasionally copping a feel in the workplace ever again. The Huggee always has the option to slap the Hugge r, and that’s as far as the law should go. We commend our liberal Republican mayor for having sensitivity to the public’s need for “hands on attention.”