THE CONSERVATIVE FACTOR
By Alex Spencer

ACADEMY AWARDS 2004

TSUNAMI AWARD—Advertising Guru JAMBORETZ—the Big Wind from the East
blowing in making big bucks working for The Casino, The Fraternal Order of Police, St. Charles Police Association, Carl Maus, Raymond Stone and Mayor York—-bringing destruction, decay, chaos, and a ton of Vicks Salve to shove up our noses to mask the odor.

SMART AWARD—JERRY SCHIEDEGGER, owner of Corporate Group and
Assured Title Company. Hardworking and always in the right place at the
right time, he may be the smartest individual in the county because he stays out of the political fray and schmoozed everybody. He is well on his way to building a family dynasty. Move over Kennedys?

GOLDEN RETRIEVER AWARD—COUNTY COUNCILMAN DAN FOUST—
Appears to be always “running and fetching” for the Big Boys who have all the gold, but want more. Prove us wrong and try hanging out with the Little Boys.

LOONEY TUNES AWARD—ST. CHARLES POLICE ASSOCIATION
The majority of this group who do not live in the City of St. Charles, have stated they are too stressed out to function, then filed suit to avoid answering questions, got chastised by a Circuit Judge, then withdrew suit to further avoid answering questions. Let’s send them to Hawaii on a one-way ticket to recover and heal.

SOUR GRAPES AWARD—DEVELOPER TOM HUGHES—Obviously Mr. Hughes
has more money than God, but he is not God, and God does not personally tell Mr. Hughes to instruct the voters who they should vote for. If we have a toothache, we go to a dentist, not Mr. Hughes. If we have a brain tumor, we go to a surgeon, not Mr. Hughes. He is a former St. Charles Police Officer and nobody elected him God until he became rich. He does not have a degree in Political Science and is not qualified to know what is in the best interest of the average taxpayer. He attempted to start his own newspaper and put the First Capitol News out of business because we dared lampoon him a little for endorsing Mayor York’s slate of candidates. Endorsements are not taken seriously when the endorser has a vested interest in the outcome. Nobody denies that Mr. Hughes builds a good house and we do admire his success in his field of expertise.

CHAMELEON AWARD—DEMOCRAT UNION BOSS ROGER PRYOR—
Successfully engages in business partnerships with Republican leaders while steering union donations and endorsements to Republicans. This proves Republicans are smarter than Democrats. They buy it every time because “one of their own” tells them to. Why pay union dues? Why not send the money directly to the Republican Committee?

GOOD SPORT AWARD—ROLAND WETZEL, Publisher of THE REPUBLICAN
A former member of the Republican Central Committee and a former State Committeeman, Wetzel gained the enmity of another committee person who swore for more than a decade, “He won’t let me have any power!” We have all heard, “three strikes and you are out.” Wetzel’s nemesis finally rendered his final sentence. First, his nemesis recruited a candidate for a county office because Wetzel was planning to run for it. The recruit had more name identification, so Wetzel backed off. Then his nemesis secured enough votes to remove Wetzel as State Committeeman by only one vote more for Chairman, Tom Kuypers. The final blow came when his nemesis backed a former democrat to run against Wetzel in the Republican Primary. Members of the Committee reported that the Nemesis promised the former democrat support for being elected State Republican Committeeman, then double-crossed him and voted for another. The Nemesis still has no power and holds no office, but Wetzel just keeps on smiling and publishing—never losing focus on the ideal—selling the Republican word. So who really lost? That’s why Wetzel is still smiling. The Nemesis will no doubt be exposed and disposed in the next Republican Primary. Committee people are elected by the Republican voters in their townships. Their duty is to those Republicans, not to serve themselves by attempting to carve out a little “personal power.”

NARCISSIST VANITY AWARD—DIVA PATTI YORK
“Mirror, Mirror, on the wall. Who is fairest of us all? ME, ME, ME.” Those who have defied or questioned the diva’s quest for absolute rule have been sued, slandered, and threatened. Somebody should tell the mayor that what goes in at the top comes out at the bottom. Deceitful plotting and scheming is no substitute for sound leadership, but it does bring government to a standstill. That mirror will not be her final judge and she is long overdue for being held accountable.

PULITZER PRIZE—TONY BROCKMEYER AND PHYLLIS SCHALTENBRAND of THE FIRST CAPITOL NEWS.
If Joseph Pulitzer were here today, I believe he would agree with us on this one. His voice was once a beacon shedding light on injustice. I believe he would be dismayed that his newspaper has the image of allowing large advertisers to shape their news reporting. The First Capitol News has awakened a sleeping giant—the PUBLIC CONSCIENCE. The public conscience never makes peace with injustice.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL. WE THANK OUR READERS FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND INPUT. Your calls of appreciation and your e-mails, not to mention all your monetary donations when our paper and our editor came under attack literally warmed the “cockles of our hearts.”